Soon it will be morning

When I am down from whatever reason, one of the 'pick me up' method that I use was listen to my music collection. One of the song in particular would perk my spirit up nicely when I need it the most. The song is a thai song from 'The Peach Band' - 'Soon it will be morning'. It was a second single of the band's first album. I did not like it at first but then it grow on me. The song has an upbeat and light melody with the lyrics talking about how the bad things will soon go away and all will be right again. Sure, it was not very realistic thing to put your mind to but sometimes you just need to hold on to that thoughtm just ot made it through the day.

Soon it will be morning, soon it will be new day.
And it will not be as bad it was today.
Soon it will be over, all will be right
And in this time, you are here with me
taking me through this nightmare
Soon all will be alright.

Above is part of the lyric from the song, translated by me. It maintain the meanings of the song in Thai language, more or less. If you are interested in the song, feel free to leave me comments :)

Sad True Story

I had just got home from work and logon to my MSN. I saw my friend MusicMan online so I chat him up and he relay to me a shocking story of his ex-bf in Taiwan.

He told me that ex-bf, Benny, his parents drugged his drink and made him unconscious. When he woke up he was in a mental hopsital and he was locked up for two months because he was gay! His parents also went to a judge to have him declare crazy but the good judge went to hospital to release him instead. He was released yesterday and now he homeless with nothing. His parents took everything out of his apartment. Now MusicMan said Benny is looking into the law to get his possessions and his life back.

MusicMan also added that Benny love drama, he also mention that Benny was on TV to tell his story. Therefore I would like to ask any readers to spread this story. You can put it up on your blog or website and give credit to this blog or put up a link to this post. Also if anybody know gay advocate group who might wants to have this news please leave email me and I will forward any information to MusicMan.

More thoughts on Depression

I meant to put the content on this post on the previous post but sometimes thoughts just slip through me like smoke (darn the aging process, but then I think I am, more or less, been like this most of the times)

My bouts of mild depression give me a bit of insights regarding depression. At the moment that it happens to me, the negative feeling was overwhelming, swepting quite strongly and it felt as if it's not going to end.

Now what I felt, may or maynot be depression. However, I can slightly emphatize to those that got hit by the real deal. I can see why it is a serious matter that need to be treated correctly and as fast as you can. And I can also say that if you stuck in depression state, you cannot just shake it off either. I would agreed with Brooke Shields in that you need to treat this right away with medication. No time to waste on vitamins and minerals adjustment like Tom Cruise said :p

Bouts of Depression

Lately I seems to be experincing bouts of mild depression. It was strong negative feeling that swept through me, usually it came during my worknights. I guess it was results of exhaustion from lack of sleep combine with the feeling of being unappreciated in the rather dead-end job.

Usually when I am having these depression, I have a feeling of disdain and the-hell-with-the-job and wants to quit. Then after I return home, got a couple of hours on my computer and sleep, all is well again.

I suppose the remedy for this condition of mine is a new promising job with decent paid...

Living on Yogurt

It's been a long time since I made the yogurt post without realizing I would be living off of it not long after I got moved to 12 hours shift.

Thinking back, it never occured to me that this new product, Dutchies 0% Fat Green Apple flavoured, will becmae one of my main late night meal almost up to 2 out of the 3 nights I worked. It was either that or S&P chieck pie and mushroom puff or instant noodle. So considering my choices, three cups of yogurt seems to be the most healthy choice of all. Also that I usually do my eating about 2 hours before I go home it seems to be the best choice of food.

But I can't jsut always eat them darn it!! So tomorrow I will bring with me some thai flavour instant noodle instead *evil laugh* I need my spice fix every now and then.

Money issue and the rest days...

The verdict was out regarding my wages. In short, I am screwed regarding the day offs. In a bit more details, it means that I no longer have the weekend paid anymore. Now that I work 3 days and 3 days off, if I came to work on my 3 days off for any reason, I would get paid normally.

Is it fair? For the employers maybe, for me? Hell No!! This means I no longer have day off slots on my timesheet, except for the public holiday. This is no way to raise moral of the employees...

Regardless of that bad news... The days off are now desperately needed to made me feel like human again. Lately I began to felt akin to Paul's situation of all works and no play made me a really moody guy. But darn... the job paid quite well, if you disregard the fact that it's a deadend job and that we have been in this position for close to 10 years, and I do need to money...

If only I have a rich sugar daddy... I could go to work with the devils-may-care attitude and could countered any one who cross my ways

The Yellow Power

Yesterday was my last holiday before going back to work so I spend the day entertaining myself at home and only go outside to grab a meal at the shopping mall near by. In the spirit of celebretion for our beloved King, I wore the only yellow t-shirt I have. I hope it doesn't look too inappropriate because it's of the movie 'Kill Bill' :pp

Anyhow, when I finally out of the house and walking to the shopping mall, a lot of people wore yellow t-shirt as well. I would say that about 70% of the people inside the shopping mall (except the salespersons who may or maynot wore yellow according to the store policy) also wore yellow t-shirts. Many were the ones with the royal emblem as well as the word 'We Love The King' or just any yellow shirt that they already have.

It was a great sight to see, I would say it is once in a life time events in the world to see how Thais people appreciate the King and show their supports in quite a unison ways.

Such a lovely sight to see indeed!

Bigger and Larger

I did my purchase, not as I originally intended but almost as good. I decide against going to the ComMart expo since I figured that any shops that went there would not bring large harddisk, as it is not really mainstream despite the going price. And I think I made the right choice since when I visit one of the shop I knew in Pantip (this shop is probably one of the oldest shop there, it's been there started by selling pirated softwares and games in diskette) The owner remembers me and we chat a bit. She told me that this times the expo is concentrated on notebooks, so most of what shows there will be notebooks and little else.

After walking around Pantip for a while looking at all the price, I decided to follow one of my friend's advice to get Maxtor brand. There seems to be only a few shop that carried Maxtor harddisk for some reason... Perhaps it's because Seagate had up the stake by increase the usual gauranteed time to 5 years. Still... I decided that a longer working harddisk with shorter guranteed is better than the vise versa scenario.

I went back to the shop that I had my latest upgrade with them. After telling the salesperson what I want, he told me that 300 Gb harddisk would not be recognise by most mainboard yet. They can manage that but it will required for me to take the machine to them and it would take all day. Since I did not carried my computer with me, nor I would wants to, now that I knew it just one harddisk that cause all the problems.

So after all said and done, I bought Maxtor 250Gb IDE for 3,500 baht. Which might be for the best since Maxtor IDE harddisk have 133 cache compared to the 150 of normal S-ATA. I had some experince with installing IDE and none of S-ATA.

After I got home I install the drive into my dusty computer case with the newly bought scrwedriver. I was a bit worried at first since the harddisk did not show up on the BIOS loading screen but after XP has loaded up, it recognise the new harddisk right away and after the startup has finish the harddisk is ready to be use (read filled up *wink* *wink*)

Light at the end of the Tunnel

It's been a hell of a week for me... Beginning with the woe at work, woe at home, and also added salt to my wounds, I lost my money that I just withdraw from ATM yesterday! I just stuff it in my pants pocket and it must have drop out somehow... Also I accidentally press my ATM card on the magnet of my wallet, thus rendered it useless. I had to spend about an hour at the bank (and it just open) waiting to get a new one.

One good thing that came out from the comptuer problem is that I got to update Trillian. Now it can open yahoo mail without asking for password again.

I also able to nail down the actual culprit that cause my computer woe. It is my oldest harddrive. I unplugged the power cable from it and now my computer is back to normal. So the good news that I don't need to carried the whole thing to Pantip. The bad news (or perhaps a good news in regard that I get to do a lil' shopping :P) is probably that I have to spend money on a new drive.

There will be another ComMart expo tomorrow. I will plan my day so I have time to check out the price both at Pantip and at Commart. The price at ComMart is surely to be cheaper than Pantip slightly...

The End of My Shift

Tonight will be last shift, before having three days off as it would then be my co-workers shift. I can't wait for the night to be over as I really need some me time. Not only for rest but also to fix my computer.

As in my two previous posts, I had realize I still have a few check ups I should be doing. However, those check ups require a screwdiver, an essential tools for computer guy like me, which has conveniently disappear from my room eons ago. No sweats, I will get one tomorrow after I had my sleep when I got home later. Perhaps this times I would find a place to keep it and not losing one again.

My last check ups scheme would be, to open the computer case and unplugged the power cable from one of the smaller harddisk. This way I will know if the problem is power is not sufficient due to power supply failure for real or not. So far I am able to determine that after the computer has been use for a while, any usage that lead to utilizing explorer will lead to freeze up.

I hope I can get to the bottom of this with not much fuss...

Found the Culprit (Hopefully)

After try out many methods to find out what actually went wrong on my computer, I eventually narrowed it down to power supply.

One of my acquaintance who works in IT customer service dept. had stop by the office today and I ran the problem by him. He also agreed that problem must be in the power supply and that four harddisk is too much.

Therefore, when I have day off this Thursday, I will carried my CPU to Pantip plaza and shop around for a harddisk and perhaps also a power supply...

It's a relieve to know what's wrong with the computer, however the solution seems to require money... Something I did not want to spend at this moment...

My Serious Computer Woes

It all began a few days ago. I woke up after being asleep for about 6 hours and play on my computer a bit. I open Trillian to check mail and people online and chat with Kitjar about the trouble at woke. After a while trillian freeze up and everyelse began to do so. I couldn't kill the process nor the order the shutdown of the computer. I eventually have to press the power button for 5 seconds to cut off the power (not recommended in normal circumstances).

At first I thought it was the software acting up, but after looking more closely and several more reboots later. I conclude that the problem seems to be the harddisk which is my oldest one of all four that I have. The harddisk is still accessible after being reboot so I thought the harddisk might start breaking down. Therefore I began bac up stuff to one of more empty drive.

However, yesterday another drive began to acting the same way, I thought heck this is awful, two drive in such a close proximity of time? It is just like what happen to the first one and I follow the same routine. thinking I Could retired both drive of 40GB and get a new 200gb instead.

But today, just before I left for work. My third drive began to acting up as well. This lead me to another conclusion that my first diagnostic would be wrong. Now the problem seems to somewhere else. I would have to eventually open the cover and check out if there is anything I can do, otherwise I would have to carried it all the way to Pantip plaza.

Now I felt like the world is really conspired against me...

A Lot Bigger Deal Than I Thought...

I jsut got a call from my office just a while ago. It turns out that the news of my mistake yesterday went up the directorS (the S is because it went to at least two directors, of finance (the user) and of IT (my dept.)).

I thought since it was fixable (as mention in previous post) it would not became a real serious matter but then it did. Since it involve the accounting system. So my mistakes were the mistake itself, not logging it and report to my supervisor.

My supervisors (not the same person that fix my mistake) were very understanding, that due to the nature of my job, mistake happens This would be my second official warnings (although I felt like I have been singled out for this, I did made the mistakes afterall). So there will be some punishment, I am not sure what that would be yet. I hope the worst would be some cut in the paycheck... Otherwise the alternative make my life seems bleak. But if it were going to happen it might be the push I need to look for a new job.

Right now I felt withdrawn and worn out, that you usually feel when it felt like the world had conspired against you (I know it wasn't that but still... I can't shake that awful 'Why Me' feeling...) And also sleepy... It would be nice if this is just a bad dream and once I went to bed and wake up again all would be well... But I know it aint's and I would have face whatever the tomorrow (the wait of punishment is a real bitch) will bring.

Also... None of close my friends were in Thailand now... Nordic went away to visit his family, Mr. American had became a traveling businessman and has not return yet, and MusicMan (I am not sure I had mention him in my blog or not, he is a musician :P) went abroad to do his work till August. Not to mention that, how I wish I have a boyfriend in a time like this... I felt like I need to hold on to a strong body and sob out my frustration.

In The Hot Seat, Again...

I can't believe it... I made another mistake in my work again... And on a crucial step to boots...

Lucky for me, my boss go easy on me this times (perhaps due to exhaustion as she still in her office when I call which is already after the office hour), plus she could manaully fix the problem. Otherwise we would lost about 3 hours to rollback the data to restart the process.

This happen just when I planned to do a post, about my bitter-sweet feelings when I open the reciept for my half month wages.

Sweet because it was more than what I used to earn from a whole month. Bitter because it translate to how many hours I have been in the office...

Still... I suppose it's nothing that a nice meal at an Italian or Japanese restuarant won't fix...